These few days my mood isnt very gd...felt so moodless, i felt being neglected in cca and at home...some times i felt no one cares wat ever i do i'm tired of living these few days having bad temper especially today due to some case after training wif sjab gals....haiz dun wanna tok abt it i felt so tired...i'm upsad becos my leg hasnt heal yet...and i gt no money see doc...parent dun even care at all...dun noe why my leg jus would not recover....i'm so afraid now adays...for only one reason....i dare not put too much force on my right leg....i scare that i will injured again...if i injured....my parent will stop mi from kicking soccer they will treat mi differently...i realli dun wanna injured my knee again...cos its realli very pain and i spent alot of money on it....my parent will no help mi pay..but i jus love playing soccer its my passion and these few matches may be my last few matches le...dunnoe when can kick again...i musnt sprain my knee again and i realli wish tat my leg will heal quickly cos its difficult and its not easy i have been training my right leg so that i can play like last time...my heart is tearing...as after the day i sprain my knee....they started to neglect mi and they doesnt care any more.
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:01 AM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Today was quite tiring...gt sjab footdrill training until 11.30 then continue soccer training while officer and robin was having meeting. train my gals play until 1+ then we went for lunch after eating we went to the library cos shu han go borrow book using my card...then go sportlink look at shoes, socks and my birthday present soccer ball from them thx alot....then while we walking to mrt we decide where to go then we go shu han house watch movie then play soccer while kicking i suddenly wanna play head shot then i head to the wall then a few heading the ball went over to shu han neighbour house lox then we gt two ball ma one samuel de one robin de ma then i actually taking the white ball home but then i took the black home cos the white one stuck at her neighbour house haha...then we mon then change back haha then robin and ming wei went back then left mi then robin call and ask see we wan go qian bi's father new open de eatting house at geylang to eat we ate at abt 9+ a supper late dinner and early supper haha...then tok over there abt many interesting abt jy..qb..r..mw..hh onli mi and shu han noe haha nvm keep as secret then until 11 then robin,ming wei and i told cab home...i was the last to drop down on the way to my house the stupid taxi driver ask mi we work at GEYLANG ah?....i huh and reply no ....then he ask we are student ah...in my mind ah bu den still ask stupid question but in real situation i didnt reply him...then i left the taxi reach home lucky my mother sleep le if not i sure kanna scolding so late go home but once awhile so hack care la haha so tired today but it was fun loxnow so tired le wanna have a long sleep didnt have gd sleep these few days lox...so tired shall go sleep le bye
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Alawys My Darlin [:
8:45 AM
Friday, March 24, 2006
It has been a long week this week mon start sch after sch gt footdrill training thought the monkey wont come but i see him was so tired so didnt wan to tok to him so i went home after training....on tue same sch then gt chinese remedial i'm in group 4 which is same as tracy,hui min,evina,puay gek and some of the boys from my class and tracy's class then went home after remedial...on wed same too gt sch then need to stay back for filming of footdrill com until 4 then went to coach my sjab gals soccer team train for their speed and stamina and train how to pass and shoot then i went home...on thu same old thing gt sch then gt science remedial but i dun like the miss tan cos she teach so boring, her voice so loud still use speaker, and i was so urgent she dun allow mi go toliet wan to ren until dismiss then mi and geraldine cant stand run off to toliet 5 min before dismiss then late for phy but mr lai nv say any thing his lesson is interesting realli t was so fun...today...gt sch but i onli attend 2 lesson phy and geo then gt 1h 30mins of recess from 10.30 to 12 but during geo and free period i and yvonne was smsing each other haha then mi N yvonne left the our class went to find charmaine and gwen then they nv come out then we left sch le...we took cab home...slept fro 45mins then get change and went for soccer match...lucky i didnt injured today was so afraid that i will injured again but my leg still pain la...pain so wat who cares neh...no one to say to my parents sure say who ask mi go kick but its my passion..so upsad...miss some balls today haha but i did my best cos my leg jus recover i hai bu xi guan will buck up de...thinking when i leave sch le will i still get chance to kick soccer again haiz these few match might be my last few matches le....haiz...jus now i walk to interchange with charmaine, yvonne and gwen and i took 27 home who noes that i was watch the commonwealth game gold metal match while smsing too then i forget to press the bell and stop the bus then gtg to tampines and change bus back haha...my friends laugh at mi lox...haha but its realli funny la.. was tired have pack ym sjab de stuff yet....tml gt sjab dun feel like going my leg pain...and i very tired but no choice gt footdrill training lox haiz...so tired lox actually today i wanna sms wei and ask her out at nite but dun noe why some thing stop mi i jus feel very de guilty to her...i'm in a pretty low spirit now...dun noe why always feel bad at nite...may eb i am exhausted bah...shall go pack my stuff and sleep le...hope there will be sweet dreams
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Alawys My Darlin [:
6:29 AM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
There goes another day...yeah i have gt a soccer street shoe from my primary sch de best friend but in return i brought her some comic and a billabone sling bag too. today spent a lot of money heart gt abit pain but nvm...feeling so bothered wif many stuff....sch cca and home.....i'm exhausted le but wat can i do even i am exhausted i still have to think abt these problem gt to think abt cca sjab de soccer gals team...think abt my family and my family's financial we are having financial problem le....gt so many things to pay....insurances and many more....thats made mi even mroe hard to get money from my father feeling that when ever i need money i dare not take from my father if there isnt enough money he will be very stress i dun wanna him to worry so much so i tends not to ask money from him or from my mother i keep quiet and try to save money or borrow from friends....but i dun wish to do that but the stupid sch keep on asking money from us first is organise book ,then newspaper then reader digest then course money then assment book i realli out of money le... i'm feeling very tired gt so much thing to think and decide gt some many thigns to do also training for footdrill, soccer although its my passion and my F&N course work i haven done yet....my holi homework haven even do...i feel like collaping down i dun noe how long can i hold on.....when will my family be rich then i be less trouble i feel so bother wif these stuff...but no one noes i'm bother, trouble and sad...they think i'm hyper in sch...but its to entertain them...i dun wish to show them how sad i am actually. i bet my family does not noe i'm sad they dun even noe i'm trouble because all they care is themself no one cares abt mi no one truely cares abt mi even my friends i'm sry to say that but i jus feel i living alone in a world that is unfamilar. i felt being left out in sjab....i felt like leaving and nv return but some thngs jus pull mi back some times i felt there no space for mi to be there i'm a nobody...i'm a nobody in sjab the efforts i put in has gone down down down its useless i felt so useless i cant help my junior i made my senior to have no trust in mi i felt so useless and i'm nobody i am jus a waste ppl a shit nco...a nco take jus do wat u all say and then i'm throw aside i wanna leave but even if i leave there will also be no changes and even i leave there is also no one care abt it i felt so lost i dun noe wat to do i'm so exhausted wif some many stuff to do....i need someone's help put mi out or jus knock mi into comma....i felt like sleeping forever but escaping is useless but even i dun escape wat else can i do...i realli tired who can save mi no one realli no one can save mi cos NO ONE CARES AT ALL.......filled wif sadnness in life
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Alawys My Darlin [:
6:39 AM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Nothing to do so update blog abt recent stuff.... start from yesterday....sch soccer training mr maran was a bit weird wif all the stuff he use as training like making us run abt to chase the ball...then followed by playing a game where when he shout down we have to hide the ball, when he shout change we change direction, when he shout hit we take the ball and hit any one near by then the last one is chase mean we the senior chase the junior and there was onli four of us mi,charmaine, joan and joanna then another chase 2 which is the junior chase the senior it was dam horrible haha we then play captain ball and another soccer match then we end the training at around 11+ then when to have lunch wif joanna and charmaine then we when looking at sportslink on soccer balls,shoe of all brands and those supporting guards. after shopping i went to coach my gals team teach until i wan to vomit ah...we were choosing a goal keeper but actually i had in mind who but jus wanted to see who is more suitable for the position....then we gt audition of some ppl like jolene,bao chuan and theng boon. theng boon gave mi a surprise the first shoot that some one take was quite hard and she manage to catch....then went home....was realli tired i pack my stuff then i went off to bed early in the morning i wake up at 7.45 then went to bath and change cloths take my breakfast then off i go for sjab activity cum footdrill com training. it started at around 9.05 till around 11+ all of us was so tired although there are breaks in between then after awhile when lwq keep giving us water break when we didnt ask for it, it is like now u go for water break then u come back le after a 4-5 times of turing he sent us for water break again then it repeat again but this time no one go drink water he ask we dun wan drink ah then we say no...then dun noe wat he say i forget le i noe i put up my hand and told him that we all are very tired and our legs are aching and feeling pain...then he started to go behind us toking abt us he say some thing but i jus dun rem le cos i was like starting to angry le...i rem one is he say wan us to think how much have we put in the effort in chinese which is xiang yi xiang ni men fu chu de duo sao and he also say if we join the com then we should put in effort to learn and do it well. firstly i didnt wan to join one is becos robin say there isnt enough ppl and ask mi to join and i am becos of my junior i join one now he like tat say us...and wo fu chu de bu go duo ma??? na ni yao wo fu chu duo sao ni cai man yi neh.....tell mi lah...do you noe i am realli tired every oen is so tired after marching and kicking soccer our legs are aching and its so pain lox i said those to him is becos i noe every one is tired i jus hope that it will stop and let them rest...he said those things which make mi felt it is shooting towards mi....fine am i wrong....when he was saying us i jus dun wanna look in front i look some where else holding my tears not wanting to cry in the squad until he dismiss us i turn and awalk to the toliet after qb came asking mi my leg pain ah...yes its quite pain lah...then i walk to the toliet and my tears is coming down i jus didnt wanna turn back and look i keep walking towards the toliet until i jus break down started complaining to puay gek who came running after mi i cry before i complain to her i jus felt realli tired....i'm realli exhausted there so many things in my mind so many problems....i felt like stopping down and jus stop and not doing any thing i am realli very tired can every thing stop. when i came home i sit down and looking at the tv but my mind is thinking abt things felt like crying i'm tired of my life i felt so tiring gt to care abt so many stuff family,sch and cca every thing also gt problems i realli tired need some one to listen to mi but there is jus no one who cares and no one is there when i needed some one to tok to...theres no one who can hear mi saying my troubles and jus listen to mi and lend mi his/her shoulder to lend on for a rest....i'm so tired already...wanna rest le....i 'm going to burst liek a balloon le.....i jus cant hold it nay longer le....who cheng bu zhu le.....wo kuai yao kua le.... it 12.57 am of sun 19 march i'm shall fall into my dream land le i'm exhausted le...if one day i jus sleep and nv wake up it will be nice as i dun have to trouble any more....how ever hard i do they doesnt appreciate.....i jus find him so biased....last time like this now also like this he nv changes....i wish that there isnt so much troubles and problems i am realli dam dam dam tired le exhausted no strength any more le....off to bed stop here le no words to describe my feelings....bye
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Alawys My Darlin [:
8:37 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
yeah today's my birthday....can you believe today i slack at home...i didnt go out at all, this year i celebrate my birthday at home....wake up in the morning see no one but onli my bro sleeping haha then awhile later he woke up and wish mi happy birthday again haha so nice of him to wish mi hapy birthday again haha....then later in the noon we order pizza from canadian which is 2 for 1 price haha....any way it is my bro treat mi eat so i share wif my family too bad my sis wasnt at home. so sad i think my sis forget today's my birthday until now left 20 mins and its going to end le she haven say happy birthday to mi...nvm i enjoy my day haha after eating pizza i slack watch tv then around 1+ to 2 i fall asleep on my bed haha until 3+ then i wake up again haha was so tired yesterday after working still go play pool wif my friends haha but its fun sia....i have made my wishes i'm happy today....was so relax at home at least some ppl rem my birthday thx alot.....today my mother gave mi a present which is xue ge which is a very nice food and its expensive too haha my bro treat mi pizza my father paid my mp4 player haha my sis haven give mi yet....i'm waiting haha she's not at home so sad nvm....thx alot i shall enjoy the rest of the time le wish myselfhappy birthdayagain....haha noe its lame.
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:12 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
hey hey....today's qian bi's birthday i could not go her house wif the rest of sjab members to surprise her so sad....cos i was working in sentosa her birthday present is still wif mi i gt sunburn on my face, neck, hands and leg. then went to play pool wif wei qiang,robin, terrence and zhao neng it was so fun wq was dam pro in pool man haha but he shoot in the black ball and lost to mi he bui ta han then he played wif zhao neng he shoot the white ball out of the pool table and all his shoot was so hard haha. hurray my birthday is coming i gt wishes for my birthday...but the most important wish and the most wanted wish is my leg to recover asap so i can continue playing soccer. i wanna to have a soccer ball, street soccer shoe, a new wallet, a new water bottle....haha hope i be able to buy it...sob sob. i hope that my sch soccer team we would win the next few matches and cca de soccer team would win in the coming soccer touranament on 25th of march. i also hope to have a smooth year ahead and also i would be able to cope my studies and do much better in the next term.last but not least i wish qian biHAPPY BIRTHDAYand alsoHAPPY BIRTHDAYto mi
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:12 AM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
hmm long time no update le....was quite busy haha wif sch work and cca.....i like my second cca alot its so fun. we have been having soccer matches we finally have won in the last match against yishun thats good news bad news that i'm badly injured cos of the fat ass no.23 who trp my leg and cause mi to sprain my knee now it has swollen and i cant bend and stand straight so sad and its so pain lox....not onli i injured tracy also injured her ankle la....must say sry to my parents to made them worry they dun understand mi....i realli like soccer alot no matter how hard u all try i will still continue to kick after my injury recover....sry....but i realli like soccer if i leave this sch the onli think i will miss is soccer haha cos is so much fun to be wif them together we kick liek a team we have gt team spirit aah ha....yes i gt 3 weeks of rest....haiz the onli think i wish is they will noe mi better, dun noe will my family rem my birthday....haiz so sad.....this fri is ptm so sian hope nothing happen if not they will start scolding and nagging mi hope from there they understand mi more hmm impossible la forget it aahaah my leg so pain i going to rest le shall update again bye