so long no update le...was tired and lazy to update...was dam angry...stupid security guard mistaken us, say us play toilet PAPER...is there any logic...we sec 5 le still play tat for???...haiz nvm dun wanna tok abt it le...this week busy wif camp logistic stuff...mi and yong li doing sa kang....haha we filing all the notes for the trainings was tiring..today is ptm day...haiz...no a very gd day... result poor...haiz...if i noe dun tell LLL i gt camp haiz...she shot mi...i'm dead le...after ptm my mood change..felt sad...i suddenly felt being left out...i feel tat i tok to them they dun reply...haiz...like wo bu chun zai...haiz suddenly felt like crying haiz...i felt tat i'm a body dead walking around...i'm tired le....i need a break...tml training camp le looking forward and feeling sian too sian is sunday needa go home then tue need to go lesson it doesnt look like camp le...haiz..shall go sleep le nco needa reachsch by 6.30
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Alawys My Darlin [:
5:27 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006
Suppose to go watch movie wif wendy and kai xiang they all but in the end no go cos onli we three so wendy say might as well dun go le...went having dinner wif my family at sakura the thai restaurant the food their taste ok la..so so lox then we went to the rent video...i rent a "can we talk?" which is I not stupid 2...wanna watch again and also my family can watch...at first thought they would be able to understand us more and they will noe how we feel more after watching but i'm wrong they dont but they continue saying us...i realise tat the show is rite they say tat parent nv look on the positive side of their child but they always point the negative side and always scold us abt tat they nv praise at all ask urself....
nsnkkjnkad"when was the last time u praise someone" knskasknadd"when was the last time ppl praise you" masnsnkndknsds"must be very long time ago rite"
i dun understand why they do tat i jus felt so sad...tat they dun even praise us when we gt something rite all they do is pin out ur bad points and scold u and blame u but they didnt noe tat these problems are wat they created haiz...why why why. the ah ma which is the mother of the liang zhi qiang in the show is rite she say tat wat u suppose to care and teach u dun care but those u shouldnt care u care and scold us then blame us pls stop blaming us...i haiz...hope one day u noe how we feel haiz shall change topic...after watching i didnt cry this time shall say is almost haha shall nto drop tears le...my eyes is going to swollen if i continue to drop tears every day...the show is dam nice i love it when will i be priase now i so afriad of the upcoming ptm...its my dead line haiz...haizsure kanna scolding and blaming again there confirm gt no one priase...head ache for the camp....haiz...
YYY
Alawys My Darlin [:
7:19 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
we had a great time at seoul garden wif wendy and her younger bro...we eat and drink until we cant stand any more but we still eat and drink then went shopping around bugis after kelly met us...i was so full until at nite i'm still feeling full felt like going again haha...then kelly and wendy came to my house...kelly was so gd she help mi and wendy do our blog she so expert in blogging haha thx alot kelly now i love my blog skin so much haha...i went meeting on sat abt the camp i gt lots of things to do and need to confirm wif teacher alot of things haiz so tired still gt the class jersey wah..can die ah no choice then went to chinatown to help my mother take some stuff at the people's park...when i reach i onli gt one word to describe...wah...its so different so new and i went shopping they but onli bought some hair pins and rubber band cos cheap ma haha shall go there shop again haha....today i start doing my chinese homework but onli complete one comprehension sure kanna scolding tml haha then felt sleep on my bed until 1+ to 2 woke up ate some fruits and prawn salad then we went to see my godma still the same in the hospital haiz... then we went tampines to eat actually wanna go ajisen eat but my father dun like so we went to the food court to eat my father ate zhu zai dang where mi,my mother and bro ate japanese food it taste so so la but i liek ajisen better felt like going to eat ajisen haha...bored tml gt sch haix so sian
YYY
Alawys My Darlin [:
7:34 AM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
exams finish le... exams paper are back...haiz result is tat well felt so sad..my moral went down during chem lesson has dissappointed wif my marks haiz.. but i will wrok harder..but now i'm scare my father noes my result le sure scold mi desome times i jus hate studying haiz...exams result not gd they will scold and blame us say why dun we study harder? all sort of question then when we do well the jus knock their head haiz... hate my life man...life is so tiring,life is not interesting haiz...today is just not a gd day...thinking life is so unmeaningfully haiz...moodless i'm lost in no where...i jus felt like crying it seems like every thing is my fault... wat ever i do my father is jus always aganist mi..was i wrong?? why wat ever i do they are always not happy i'm so so tired now i think i am wrong abt u, actually u dun realli understand mi too...nonone understand mi cos nobody bloody care abt mi...i shall not care also then dun blame mi any more every thing wrong u all blame mi it hurts mi so much...u dun even noe wats my heart and mind is thinking... haiz...life is so miserable wif out any one
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:19 AM
Friday, May 05, 2006
Thinking of making a card for her...had came out with some design ask my mother for suggestion but she didnt reply...pack some of my stuff today...thinking of how to make the card...going to dinner was still doing then my mother scolded mi say i....then she says tat why make card use zhen xin qu gan dong ta...when ever i wan to do some thing like cards or wat ever they will aways in chinese at mi i hated it so much...its hurts my heart is becos i dun noe how to express my feeling so i put efforts to make the card for the person... now i noe why u says tat cos u dun noe how to understand ppl simply say u dun understand mi at all...no one in this family realli cares cos everybody is selfish no one cares abt mi....was in a gd mood but u change my mood i felt so lost...my godma dotes mi alot now she still in icu my heart and mind kept thinking of her. feeling so down i felt not alot of ppl noes my heart perhaps onli some close friends my family cares for themself onli...seriously i dun feel the love at home i felt tat i always very quiet at home i seldom tok cos non of them toks to mi lot...may be its becos i dun noe wat to tok to u all cos u all dun understand mi...tired with some many things moodless cant smile no no is i dunnoe how to smile...i dislike u guys cos she all onli cares for ur ownself...i hate u, u take ah ma go some where of china in the september when i cant even go....i gt sch...i hate u leaving mi wif papa,kor and sis then i will have to do things for them...i hate u dun wanna bring mi along thought u will but i'm wrong seriously i indeed wrong...make mi hate u all...fine I HATE U ALL AND I HATE MYSELF YOU ALL WILL ALWAYS BLAME MI RITE OF COS RITE ALL MY FAULT MA!!!!!!!!!!!
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Alawys My Darlin [:
6:58 AM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
She's still in ICU...i'm so worried about her yesterday i went to the hospital to see her when i went in she still sleeping after awhile think she woke up...then i saw she struggle in pain by the look of her movement...at tat point i felt like crying when i see her in such pain my heart hurts too...i jus kept going in to peek at her...as i dun wanna wake her upif not she will struggle in pain again awhile later when i went in i saw my god pa drop tears i noe he must be feeling sad and pain too when see her in pain. my nieces all wrote small letters for my god pa telling him not to be sad and god ma will be well soon...i saw his eyes was filled wif tears...every moment when i'm left the hospital there's flash of the sight she struggle in pain i jus cant smile...yesterday nite i could not sleep then forcing myself to sleep cos today gt exams ma haiz...i wonder how long she have to suffer till she recover and does not need the tubes any more i waiting for tat day and i plan to make a card to give her after she discharge from the hospital i will be waiting for tat moment now i will jus have to wait haiz...i jus cant stop thinking of her...every time i think of her i wanna shed tears...i felt so pain when i rem the sight she was in pain...