if one day...i become blind...wat will happen...if one day i gt an illness and its not easy to be cure wat will happen...one day i jus collapse and nv wake up...then wat will happen too...i'm tired...of these feeling tats my family give mi its ren ming and i still have to bear wif it and i have gt to smile at them...its hard...one day i'm gone wat will happen i guess nothing will happen life will still carry on...thinking of if there is no tml how...zhen xi mei yi fen mei yi miao...wif the person u love...ur love one like ur family...basically i'm jus tired of my life but its not even half of my life yet...i'm afraid of some things losing my love one especially....but why i dunnoe life is like this i have to accept this is my life...perhap i have to be more stronger in thinking wise...haiz its prelim and i haven start to study...jus gt no mood...haiz..been thinking of things...or may be i too sensitive on it le....i have gt nothing to say imjusafraidoflosingu...icaretoomuchabtule...feltsorrytotroublealwaysandalwaysdisturbingualthoughumaynotmindbutmyheartjusfeltsotiredandsadireallidunwishtogiveupuilikeutoomuchienjoythedayweweretogetherustilltreatmiwellimsorryusaidishouldntloveucosuareanastyboybutijusreallilikeuicantchangewotaizaihunileumaynotnoeutitstruehowiwishinoehowufeelbutthemomentiseeusadandmoodlessifeltsadandmoodlesstoobutwheniseeursmileonuifelthappyjuswhenarehappy
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Alawys My Darlin [:
5:50 AM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
today sch is boring...SS lesson was falling asleep the teacher wake mi up...was thinking of stuff haven start studying...mind full of stuff...trying to get some things done...but jus could not...haix...i dun noe wat to do le...jus let it be bah...ren ming le...realli i guess tats my life...haiz...felt so moody these few days becos of family i jus felt so fan gan...dun noe why jus has no mood...every thing also wan mi do...you all care jsu for urself onli so selfish man... wheni'mfanandmoodlessthe1stpersonithinkofisuumaynotnoebutijussozaihuniuarealwaysinmymindijuscan notforgetwatusaidtomiialwaysremdidntnoewattodoujuscheermiupienjoythosedaysthxureallicheermiup wheni'mfeelingsadandlowinmoodurvoiceiswhichiwouldwantohearwaitingforualways
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Alawys My Darlin [:
5:47 AM
Monday, August 21, 2006
Starting to dislike this home....i dun feel like home...haiz... today xin qing hen fan...come home...feeling ok then later my bro came back give mi face...like i own him money like tat...come home use com...nv even tok...all he noe is use com...hate him...my sis neh...go for interview today...but she is always not at home...might as well treat here like hostel ...fan...ah every thing alos wan mi do...nv do complain do le...some times nag...at least i did some thing today lox...ur gd son come back jus use com....and nv do any thing why dun u scold him i not a maid lox...and he work outside jus for himself every time use the internet bills to say mi....if i gt the neng li i already paid the bills lox...work so much ask u take abit money out will die and...liek father like son...both so stuborn wont listen to others de...and so niao....can be open abit anot... i hate to go out wif u lox...every time eat food court and those same old dishes...and dun have hock kian mee eat others la...stupid...i hate hearing things from my mother abt my dad,bro and sis....i gt my problems too but who can i say to u all meh....fan si ren le...todays is a bloodly moodless and fan gan day....stop treating mi this way can....why other family can have smooth life and some of us is like shit la.... jus pouring out my anger and unhappiness....today xin qing zhen de hen bu shuang and hen fan gan....haiz...dun wanna tok abt it le
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:22 AM
Friday, August 18, 2006
hmmm once again...another week has pass....haiz...been feeling moody...nvm...hmmi said i am going to blog today in sch...there a huge thing tat happen today...my wallet was murdered by isabell haha...she took my wallet and show mi on the third floor then she throw up and down...then u noe wat happen next...my wallet fly down to the first floor lox...all the boys was looking haha then i shouted oh my god...isabell then run down take lox...haha the boys were gd they pick up for mi thx...but i dun noe them haha...hmm today went playing bball wif tracy, jingjie, ben yeo, kai xiang, alvin, wei sheng and leslie...hmmm it was fun long time no play le gt alot of tai kou shoots haha...i enjoy playing sports...but my knee cap jus hurts haha..nvm...still sick man...coughing...no one cares too.... yesterday in remedial lesson some thing happen lox...haha the boys go burn theplastic, duster and even burn insect then gt a smelly smell...then mrs chin came in...they wanted to lock the door then they pull the table back a phy ass fly out...isabell said to mrs chin they kan yi dun wan have her lesson then mrs chin angry le...then is like she see us we see her...give her face go her lesson first she ask why become mix boys and girls le... stupid haha then she say my blood is boilling i am very angry haha...she wan the boys wei sheng,wei liang,soon jing and ming zhang to leave then she teach.... she so bad like ppl wan go for remedial de..go le teacher chase them out...haha then they say they scarifies haha....and she teach so fast i can even catch lox... chemistry was so much more interesting haha....i shall go sleep le...tml will be a better day...sad and tired
.FeLt.So.SiLlY.kEePiNg.U.iN.mInD.
.iTs.HaRd.To.FoRgEt.
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:25 AM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
once again another week has jus pass....getting nearer and nearer to prelim le...haiz...haven start studying i will start soon...haha...hmmm kept thinking of some thing which is in my head....why they treat him(bro) so gd...i mean...bring him see doc because of his brain...which is like he couldnt concentrate...and i am i like a shit doing most of the things wash this wash tat...mop the floor...think of them...think of my mother...take care of her...when i myself i gt lots of things too....or may be its jus a excuse...i dun noe felt realli tired...now...am i so sick and tired...being having headache since thur even i'm sick they also dun noe cos i didnt tell them...why..becos i dun wan them to worry cos now my mother need ppl to take care...even if thye know i guess thye will react in this way...oh is it...go see doc lox...so telling them and not telling them there is no reason...dun wanna tok abt it le...back to others..hmm sat was a busy day..went for sjab flag day...walk around ang mo kio ask ppl donate then go seragoon central..then to seng kang can i ask u is these place call wu lu...if this is then pulau ubin call wat then... nvm then i went home to rest i lie on my bed and fall asleep until 3+ woke up and recieve call saying not going for the wake...cos of some reason then ok then meet isabell and ben at kovan buy some food and go meet wendy at potong pasir...when we reach our destination...we waited for sean and his friend for around an hr lox...then we went to marina bay to watch the fire works it is like so many ppl lox... haha manage to squeeze through and find a place to sit although view not very gd la...nvm i had alot fun and i enjoy the fireworks its so nice...france fireworks is so much better then singapore but every country gt its own design ....
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:02 AM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
hmm...finally gt break le...haha its national day...i like national day why...becos there fireworks....yeah...its was my first time to see fireworks not i nv see before its becos i always watch it on the tv ma....hmmm...todays wendy's bdae...wish her happy bdae...sorry...we didnt help u celebrate...due to some problem...u all were at one end and we are at another end....its far....i guess u must be very sad...i'm sorry realli paiseh...its hope u understand...hmm shall not talk abt the unhappy things....hmm yesterday i enjoy myself alot....was realli my first time watch fireworks and its so beautiful lox....i wanna watch again...i felt so happy and relax....but....i was dam tired lox....my legs are tired....walk alot and run just to go to another bus stop to take bus no.80 back to hougang to change bushome....and also we went to play bowling and pool....i love bowling and pool...during pool i look a bit restless....was tired and a bit frustrated dun noe why...jus felt tired and quite hungry but when food come i jus dun feel like eating....this happen these few days....like today suppose to eat lunch around 11+ then all aunty come....i get bored so didnt go eat...until they left at 3+ then i eat my lunch, dinner also the same felt sian...dun noe wat to eat so cook noodle add fishball and tats my dinner....food jus dun look gd to mi...guess i may get a gasric pain these few days...haiz....but i realli enjoyed myself alot yesterday thx for asking us to the fireworks it was fun and i enjoy myself alot realli felt so happy fireworks was great....haha did u enjoy urself...think everybody enjoyed themself
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Alawys My Darlin [:
7:27 AM
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
lots of things hiding in my heart...wan to say out but i jus cant....my heart hurts....haiz....wat shld i do neh...shall not speak le...i'm looking forward to 8 august.... haha