haiz...actually done writing my unhappiness but the internet gt disconnect when i click publish post haiz... so restart writing haiz this is the third time i have written becos of the internet i'm tired of re typing le shall cut short haiz...isnt very happy things seems to be not right first boss say i must improve peter say boss say i must bark up on my cooking and stuff melvin say i'm slow in plating must be faster haiz... itrying to improve benny say i'm stupid even darlin also say....ppl critise my cooking critise mi say i cook not nice even darlin say so it makes mi feel depress too...but i didnt say out aunty also says mi but wat makes mi feel even not happy is ppl shout at mi say mi blame things to mi its not i make spoil one i gt a sense wed boss will say mi i noe i loss the ice cream scoop i will buy and pay back haiz....feel so not happy in indulge but wat to do must endure haiz...wat to say actually wanted to tell darlin all this things ytd nite when he sent mi home but i saw he is down wif flu and is tired jus came back form scout camp so didnt trouble him but at ntie i sms him abt it but he slept already so i waited til de next day for his reply he didnt replay abt the matter so i ask him did he see my sms i send him last ntie he said he saw and he then said i think too much it seems it didnt realli bothers him haiz...tell him but seems no reaction from him perhaps it does matter to him haiz...i feel so upsad haiz...have been having chest pain these few days now still having but slight pain haiz..also told him in the last ntie sms but perhaps he overlook haiz...no one care no one understand bah haiz... nvm i'll jus keep to myself bah haiz...12 more days will be my appt hopes its gd result haiz...shall stop here tired le wanna go slp le haiz...hopefully wif a sweet dreams tonite